Black, Blacker, BLACKNESS!!

So, am finally back in Jozi and at work after what was quite a long hiatus. Am not to happy about the work bit, but am loving being back in my little shoebox flat! For those who don't know, I've been gallivanting around the bush for the past 2 weeks - the sand has literally crawled under my skin! But dirt and heat aside, I had a pretty good time. Quite characteristically, I am too lazy to give a detailed download, so shall give you the shotgun version!

Day 1

• Catch a very comfortable ride to the airport courtesy of Tempest Transfers - were it not for the the obviously inebriated driver, would have been an equally enjoyable journey!


• Get to airport nice and early (I don't do tardy) - realise that the international terminal has no atms....way to go ACSA!!


• Lug Pedro (him and I are joined at the hip) to the domestic terminal in search of dollar bills. I am not amused, it is rather far.


• Make way back to international with still an hour to spare (oh the beauty of being early)


• AMAZING - departure is right on time....wow, BA may not be a crock of shite airline after all!


• Ingest suspect looking lasagne.......contemplate why chicken is looking somewhat purple, but hunger and greed get the better of me.


• Land in Harare to a bright and sunshiny Zimbabwean afternoon.


• Hugs and kisses all around with Mr and Mrs K........Mr K is feeling rather brave and decides to pass rude comments about my weight........if looks could kill Father dear......


• Go in search of food....wow....there is none to be found anywhere. My heart breaks as I wonder how people are managing to survive.


• Drive home with rumbling stomach - Mr K convinces me that there are pros to living in the sticks - FOOD!


• Get home, and what do you know - no electricity - I mutter some shocking curses - Mother flashes some filthy looks my way.


• Rest of day is spent lolling around the house and chasing somewhat touched dog, Scooby.


• An early night as I prepare for scorching hot drive to Lusaka tomorrow.

Day 2

• Up bright and early and guess what.....NO ELECTRICITY!!! Too weak to curse, so hightail it to shower before water runs cold!


• Can't be arsed to boil water, so ingest stodgy cold oats. I don't recommend this.


• All packed after much fussing by Mother about what I am wearing to the wedding......some things never change.


• Jump into car and off we go to drop Mother at the airport. Father who breaks out in a sweat at the sight of a plane has opted to drive to Lusaka, and me being the good daughter I am could hardly let him go it alone....DAMN!


• We drop Mother off, and start the long drive to land of the Zambians - ROAD TRIP!!


• HEAT HEAT and more HEAT!!!!!


• With the petrol situation in Zim the way it is, air con is a luxury - oh Lord, melting is not a way to go!


• Rumble up to Chirundu with temperatures soaring around 40......must....get....water.......


• BORDER HELL!!! What is wrong with the minions who work there????? I want to scream "FLAMING EEJIT" but I bite my tongue and practice sending vudu vibes.


• More harassment!! What the h*ll????


• After much drama and sweat and a few tears, we cross the border and officially enter land of the Zambians.


• I'm confused - why does there seem to be roving foreign exchange guys milling around flapping francs, dollars and rands at me........strange, very strange.


• Long drive in the dark to Lusaka - Father declares that he's dorping all the way, so I am forced to brave the endless trucks and tractors and drive:(


• Arrive at the in-laws and met with much festivity - I just need a bed - someone hand me a pillow.

Okay, no surprise, laziness has set in! So download to be continued in another post! Later all:)