I think I can, I think I can!!

5:00am - Rudely disrupted from what was an abnormally peaceful sleep. Confusion of it all causes me to fall out of bed - crap.

5:10am - No faffing. Packed change of clothes night before.........see, I'm not all just good looks!

5:20am - Panic sets in as late night phonecall from Satan comes back to haunt me.
Satan - "I checked your gym access card. The last time you went to gym was last week Thursday"
Star - "Sh*t"
Satan - "I'm going to make you suffer tomorrow - be prepared"

5:25am - I contemplate punturing a tyre.

5:35am - Phonecall from Satan as I drive into the torture chamber - something about him running late and that we should do 15minutes of the treadmill instead......wonder if you can doctor the time on those things......

5:40am - Eager Beaver Lebs is already hard at work on piss easy stair contraption. Burst her bubble with news of 15minutes of huffing on treadmill. She curses something about having been on stair contraption for 10 minutes already...hehehehe

5:45am - Damn onset of Summer - every man and his canine is in the gym. Forced to wait for free machine.

5:50am - Finally get machine. Cleverly decide to take it easy while Satan is still away.....must prepare for what awaits me:(

6:00am - He arrives - I whimper a prayer.

6:05am - Satan whips out rope - does he want to strangle me???? Ohhhhhh, he's saying something skipping - I can do that.

6:10am - It's all a whirlwind, punching, jumping, crunching....but something is wrong.......I don't hear any sobbing or the occasional scream. I'm not getting odd looks from fellow gym goers either......HANG ON, I do believe I heard the words, "I'm impressed" from Satan!! I think I've passed out.

6:20am - One, two, lunge, three, four lunge! Legs aren't even buckling! hehehehe, what's my name!

6:25am - Lebo is swearing at me.....something to the effect of, "can you calm the f*ck down!" Hmmm, such rudeness. I contemplate finding a more kindred gym partner!

6:45am - Aaaaaarrrrgh, stretch feels so good - my mind wanders, picturing my oh-so-svelte body sashaying down some pristine beach in a barely-there bikini..........aaarrrgh